My flight with Astralux is all too short before she, feeling my exhaustion settling in, lands. “You need to rest. Before your fancy dinner with the prince.”
I can’t help chuckling as I slide off from the saddle. “That’s funny coming from you, given how much you disapprove of Prince Philander.”
Astralux laughs heartily. “Sometimes I can learn something new.”
Still shaking my head, I turn. “Think you can get me to the door of Lord Ithel’s manor from here?”
“Turn a little more right. Yep. Straight that way. The only thing you need to know is that the grass turns into cobblestone in about forty human paces—maybe forty-five for you—but you should reach the front doors.”
“Alright, call out if I’m about to bump into something.” I smile as Astralux laughs again, and then strike out straight ahead. Sure enough, after forty-five paces I hear and feel cobblestone underneath my boot. As I keep walking, I hear the doorman for the manor call out to me, and just a little farther along someone takes my arm.
“Ward Estelle! Are you well?” The doorman leads me inside.
“Yes, thank you.”
I squint an eye open, barely able to make out the stairs straight ahead. But once I’m upstairs the pain from the light diminishes enough that I’m able to find my room. I step in and glance at the mirror, and chuckle—while my vision still hasn’t recovered that well, I can definitely see that my wavy ebony hair has frizzed something terrible. I use water from the wash basin to sleek it back down. It won’t stay, but it does help it to look a little better.
Then I kick off my shoes and lie down, knowing that I’ll need every bit of rest I can get.
…
Knock-knock. “Ward Estelle?”
I jerk awake from a hazy nightmare about drowning in icy cold darkness. Shivering, I sit up, rubbing my shoulders. “Come in.”
The door cracks open and one of the servants pokes his head into the room. “Prince Philander sends word that dinner is ready whenever you are able to join him.”
“Oh! Yes.”
I slip my feet back into my boots, check that my hair has remained somewhat tame, and then follow the servant out into the hall. He leads me not to the dining room downstairs, but to a room that looks like it was meant to be a private study, a desk tucked to one side, a bookshelf with at least twenty books neatly organized to the other. In the middle, however, is a small round table set with a pristine white cloth, an extensive amount of silverware, a gold warming plate, gold-trimmed glass goblets, and a bouquet of a wide variety of flowers in the middle of the table. Standing with a white-gloved hand on the back of one of two ornate wooden chairs is Prince Philander, dressed in a gold-trimmed burgundy overcoat, a white vest underneath, and dark gray slacks with gold buttons tucked into shiny black shoes, a gold crown on his pale strawberry blond hair.
I gape at him then at the table. “Oh, wow.”
Prince Philander smiles a little and then gives me a slight bow with his head. “Ward Estelle, would you join me for dinner?”
I slowly walk to the other seat. To my surprise, Prince Philander walks around and slides my chair in behind me before returning to his seat. A servant with a bottle of red wine in his hands walks toward me, and I stare as he fills my goblet before going to the prince.
“I thought this was supposed to be a simple meal?” I say.
“Oh, it is.” Prince Philander waves a hand, and two servants walk in with silver platters in their hands. They set one in front of each of us, and pull the platter back to reveal a large bowl of a creamy yellow-orange soup topped with seasoned croutons, a small plate of buttered bread, and a cup of roasted asparagus mixed with white cheese. “See?”
I laugh. I can see that he tried, and I appreciate it. The soup is a hot butternut squash soup, and I can’t help sighing in relief as I sup at it from a wide, fancy-grooved spoon. “Thank you.”
“But of course,” Prince Philander says. “You risked much to bring Ariadna’s Star back.” He frowns slightly. “And, faced much hardship to do so. I am truly sorry.” Then he gives me one of his coy smiles. “Hopefully, this takes your mind off your troubles.”
I turn back to my soup. Realizing that I can see well, I look up to see that the large paned windows have been covered with draping green curtains, and I gesture to them. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”
“I did not want you to squint at me for our entire meal.”
Chuckling, I try a bite of one of the bread slices. It’s sourdough, and the slight tang goes well with the rich soup. Hopefully I’m not making a mess and look somewhat neat.
Prince Philander suddenly sighs. “It is funny to me, how much you are not like other women.”
Considering I was just worried about my neatness, I quickly glance at myself, making sure I’m clean, before looking back up at the prince. “What do you mean?”
“You do not care that I am the Prince of Amenyl.” Prince Philander leans on one elbow, gently swirling his wine in his goblet. “I am of no more importance in your mind than any other.”
“I didn’t mean to disrespect you, your majesty,” I say quickly.
Prince Philander laughs. “You have not disrespected me. I mean that you do not look at me as other women do—with longing, hoping I might even glance your way.” He shakes his head. “It makes you that much more desirable.”
Startled, I sit back, uncertain of how to handle this.
“Unfortunately,” Prince Philander continues, “I am not the one for you.”
Given his persistence toward me for a while, let alone near-threat to marry him previously, I stare at him.
Seeing my face, Prince Philander gives me a sly smirk. “That does not mean I will give up. I will keep trying to woo your hand. But alas, I am not sure I can compete with your other suitors. Or at least the one.”
“I have…what other suitors?” I ask, confused and a bit flustered. The pain of Vladykar Amon hasn’t completely left me, either.
Prince Philander blinks at me. Then he tilts his head. At last, he laughs. “You are ignorant of your own beauty! What a treasure.” Still chuckling, he then shakes his head before looking at me intently. “Yet no matter what treasure there was to be found in it, few men would dare step foot into the Malum Palace. Let alone go to its depths for such a treasure while knowing that Vladykar Malyncor was inside as well.”
My stomach flutters in surprise.
“And that is why I find that I have great competition.” Prince Philander takes a sip of his wine.
“But…Thorn was sent to retrieve Ariadna’s Star,” I say at last in the silence. “He was just able to rescue me along the way, too.”
“Perhaps. Maybe I have hope after all.” Prince Philander smiles again. “Somehow I doubt it.” Both of us finished eating, Prince Philander sets his napkin in his plate and then comes over, pulling my chair back. “Feel free to take your goblet with you,” he says. “You look like you need rest.”
I am tired. But I’m also so embarrassed by this strange conversation that I just stare at Prince Philander as I stand up.
“At ease, Ward Estelle.” Prince Philander chuckles. “I hope that you enjoyed dinner?”
“Oh, yes. Very much, actually.” Astralux sends me a rush of concern, perhaps feeling my discomfort. I send her assurance, and that helps me to find my voice. “Thank you, Prince Philander. It was nice.”
“I am relieved that you returned to partake in it.” Prince Philander takes my right hand and kisses it. “It could be nicer.” He straightens and gives me a wink. “When you make a decision about your suitors, let me know, hm? I will still hope in the meantime.”
With these disquieting words, Prince Philander bids me a good evening, and I walk back to my room in a daze. I’m not much into drinking wine, but I sip at the goblet as I sit at the edge of the bed, thinking through everything.
What makes this so difficult is that I always thought of it as Thorn and I just doing the right thing as Wards. Surely any of the Wards would brave the Malum Palace for another of us? They’re like my family. I have to believe that’s true.
And yet Prince Philander seems to think that Thorn likes me. And that there are others? I frown into the wine in my goblet. I’ve always been told I was pretty. But my mom also always told me that it meant I needed to be extra wary when it came to men. That my heart had gotten attached to Vladykar Amon so quickly only convinced me that I need to be even more cautious.
Plagued with these thoughts that bounce back and forth, I finally settle the matter that it was for Ariadna’s Star, and because we are Wards. We do the right thing in Ariadna’s name. We’re like family. And it gives me the peace I seek as I set the nearly empty goblet aside and lie down.
…
Knock-knock.
“Come in,” I say from the floor. I lean forward again, stretching my leg muscles as I try to touch my socks.
Veremund steps into the room, smiling when he sees me. “You’re getting stronger.”
“I’m just glad I am starting to feel like myself,” I say. “The light still hurts, though.”
“That may take longer. Especially with how much of Vladykar Malyncor’s dark magic you experienced.” Veremund sits in the chair that’s still beside my bed. “Are you still cold?” he asks.
Given that I’m still wearing a sweater overtop a long-sleeved cotton shirt during the summertime, I nod my head. “I keep thinking Ariadna’s Star will blaze through me again, but maybe it’s letting me recover ‘normally.’”
“I really can’t say.” Veremund brushes a hand through his slightly graying black hair. “I’m rather embarrassed to admit how little we know about Ariadna’s Star. Despite the stories we’ve all grown up with, we don’t know a single thing about it. Or we didn’t, until we learned from the Vladykars.”
“How do you think they learned the little they did?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. Thorn wasn’t able to find that out either.”
Mention of Thorn brings to my memory Prince Philander’s dinner topic, and I cast about in my mind on how to broach the subject. Crossing my legs as I sit, I look up at the leader of the Wards. “Veremund, I have a kind of a strange question.”
Veremund smiles a bit wryly. “You have faced many strange things. I’m rather surprised you haven’t asked me more strange questions.”
I laugh, glad for the humor to loosen the tension in my chest. “One of the things that Prince Philander mentioned to me, during our dinner last night, was a…he made a comment about Thorn.” I take a breath. “About him only rescuing me from Malum Palace because he liked me.” I watch Veremund’s face, wishing that my vision wasn’t so blurry so I could read his expression better. “I always felt that as Wards, we were like family. I would like to think that I’d do that for any one of you, just as any one of you would do that for me. Right?”
Veremund observes me for a long while. He leans forward, folding his hands together in front of him. “Kalteratem and I always designed the Wards with ‘family’ in mind,” he says. “As followers of Ariadna, as examples of her goodness to all, I have hoped—and thus have sought to instill—the idea that we would sacrifice everything for each other for the furtherment of Ariadna and her good light for all.”
I nod, relaxing in my posture.
“However.” Veremund pauses, and I hear him swallow. “You should know, Estelle, that once the doctors here assessed that you would survive, Thorn came to me and wept. Though wisdom dictated that he wait for an opportune time to rescue you, it was torture to his soul to be so close to you in the Malum Palace but hold himself back from rushing to aid you. I have known Thorn for many years now. While he’s teared up a few times, that is only the second time I have seen him cry, and…he was quite distraught. I reckon it was one of the most difficult things he’s ever had to do, from an emotional and mental standpoint.”
My already-blurry vision worsens, and I rub my sleeve across my watery eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset him.”
Veremund puts a strong hand on my shoulder. “No, no. It’s not your fault at all. But Prince Philander is not entirely incorrect about his assessment of Thorn’s feelings for you. I can’t speak to the nature of those feelings, but they are certainly quite deep.”
I wrap my arms around myself tightly, a tear escaping down my cheek. “I’m not sure…I don’t know if…ever since…Amon….” I hide my face in my hands. Veremund kneels beside me, and I lean into him as I sob. I can feel worry from Astralux, but I don’t have the strength to assure her I’m okay.
Hugging me tight, Veremund puts his head on top of mine. “Estelle, you have faced more in the past months than most of us have faced in our many years as Wards. Good and bad. Be patient with your healing—and I don’t mean just physically. No matter whether Thorn does have feelings for you, no matter if Prince Philander does, no matter who it might be, the right man for you will understand what you’ve gone through, and will give you the time and support you need to fully heal.”
I cling to Veremund, crying, wondering when things will calm down in this crazy life long enough for me to feel like I can breathe again.
