Ariadna’s Star: Post 63

The sorrow I feel is a cold wasteland like no other.

The fire in my veins has died out.

There’s not a flicker of light.

I feel dead.

A warm breath on my face startles me. I open my eyes and gaze into the deep blue eyes of Astralux. My bonded dragon. Betrayed like I was.

I feel her sorrow within me. But I’m too tired to cry anymore. I’ve wept until there was nothing left within me.

“Estelle, Astralux,” Kalteratem’s deep voice rumbles gently from nearby.

Blinking my eyes, I turn my head to see Kalteratem’s muzzle near us. He nuzzles me gently, despite his massive size, and then nuzzles Astralux.

“I know your pain is great,” Kalteratem says. “I want you to drink.” He nudges a bowl of water toward Astralux. “You must have a terrible headache.”

He’s right. My head is pounding. I watch as Astralux, sighing deeply, leans down and drinks. Veremund appears at my side, holding out a gem-encrusted silver goblet. Sitting up with a groan, I accept it and sip through the water. As the water quenches a thirst I hadn’t realized was there, I look up at Veremund’s face. His eyes are red and bordered by dark rings underneath.

“Are you okay?” I ask, my voice rasping.

Veremund stares at me. Then his face cracks, a small smile on his lips. “Ah, Estelle. You’re always so kind. So thoughtful.” His bottom lip trembles and he gives me a firm, one-armed hug. “To be honest, I think I feel a portion of what you do.”

I’ve been so wrapped up in my pain, I didn’t even think about the other Wards. I lean my head against Veremund and look to the side, seeing Mortimer and Neil are here as well. They’re standing around Astralux’s bed, where she and I are both curled up. Neil’s lips are pressed tight together, his gaze tired and sad. Mortimer’s cheeks glisten with recent tears.

“How long have you been here?” I ask, surprised.

“We’ve been taking turns watching over you both, but decided to eat dinner here.” Mortimer holds up a bowl of chicken, potato, and broccoli soup. “You should try to eat.”

Kalteratem sets a small chunk of meat into Astralux’s silver eating bowl. “You need your strength.”

Astralux eats without question. I feel her resilience, her strength, enduring through the pain, and I lean on it as I make myself take the bowl of soup, sipping at the broth, hoping it eases my tight stomach.

Veremund crosses his arms, watching Astralux and me. His expression is unreadable, but I sense his pain. All of our pain.

“Ariadna’s Star?” I ask.

Veremund shakes his head. “Don’t you worry about that, Estelle. I’m just glad you and Astralux are okay. Especially after….” The expression of stone on his face cracks, and a tear runs down his cheek. “Ariadna, I’m so sorry Estelle, Astralux.”

“For what?” I ask, confused.

“I failed. I failed the Wards.” Veremund puts a hand over his face. “I’ve failed you all.”

Kalteratem gives a strange half-growl, half-moan. “We failed you all.”

“It’s not your fault,” Neil says, his voice choked with emotion.

“But it is,” Kalteratem says. “We were blind—blind!—to the Snake in our midst. The signs were there. We can see them clearly now. Yet because neither of us wanted to accept that one of our own had turned traitor, we’ve lost so much: Dolores and Schleifen, Tristin, now Ariadna’s Star, and nearly my own daughter and Estelle.” The dragon visibly swallows, and an icy tear drop splatters onto the stone floor, crystalizing for a moment before it thaws into a puddle again. “Please, forgive us.”

Astralux whines and nuzzles Kalteratem. “It’s not your fault at all.”

I set my bowl of soup down and hug Veremund, tighter now. “Ariadna doesn’t hold us responsible for the actions of others, whether they are good or evil.”

Veremund dwarfs me in his embrace, heaving a sigh. “True.” After a pause, he pulls back slowly, rubbing his hand over his eyes. “You should eat, Estelle.”

I realize he’s right—I’m trembling I’m so weak. I lift the bowl and now began to spoon the smallest chunks of the potatoes I could find into my mouth. Pausing, I stare into the bowl, my sorrow and regret rising again. “I shouldn’t have brought Ariadna’s Star with me.”

“It’s not like you knew,” Astralux says. “I never guessed….” She growls, and my sorrow suddenly switches to anger. A fire sparks at my fingertips and I quickly set the bowl down. Astralux gazes at me curiously. “Estelle?”

“Did…did you just make me feel angry?” I ask, shocked.

“Oh. Heh.” Astralux gives me a sheepish grin. “That’s the kainos: we’re sharing in our emotions now, at least when we’re close together.”

“Kainos?!” Neil exclaims. “Already?”

I stare at my dragon. “Is that why I was able to fight against that controlling magic?”

Astralux nods. “It’s how we fought against Vladykar Amon’s magic and Andeuten’s breath.” She seethes the word “Vladykar.”

“And maybe why I used so much magic.” I rub my chest, now keenly aware of Astralux’s emotions. It’s not even that I sense them from her, although that is true—whereas once I could faintly sense her presence, now it’s a bit stronger and tinged with emotions. But even more so, I can feel those emotions inside of me. Alongside my own. As my wonder increases and my sorrow dissipates, I feel Astralux’s emotions reciprocate with a little more joy and less anger.

Mortimer, shaking his head, chuckles. “Only months into your bond, and you reach kainos! This might be the earliest a bonded pair have ever reached kainos. And so suddenly.”

“I certainly can’t think of any happening earlier than eleven months, and that was phenomenal,” Kalteratem says. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, but I don’t know that we had any control over it.” I glance at Astralux. “I certainly didn’t.”

Astralux shakes her head. “The bonded stages aren’t controllable. Not really.” She gives a sad smile. “In this case, we reached kainos probably because we both felt a deep pain, and we felt it together.”

Shuddering, I pick my bowl of soup back up. I feel my horror clash into Astralux, affecting her emotion, and she dips into sorrow again. Dismayed, I make myself think of something happier—such as this soup I’m enjoying—and Astralux’s emotions calm again.

“You’re already doing really well with it,” Astralux says, admiration in her voice.

“It feels so weird,” I say.

Veremund chuckles. “It will for a little while. It’s like when you first bonded.”

“Just be careful,” I say to Astralux. “Apparently your anger makes my magic burst.”

“Really?” Astralux asks.

A blazing hot anger rushes through me suddenly. Unbidden, my magic bursts into ruby red flames that engulf my soup bowl between my hands. I yelp, dropping the bowl, and it shatters at my feet, spraying soup all around. “Astralux!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Astralux nuzzles my shoulder. “I just wanted to see if it was true!” I feel her joy, and don’t have to look over to know that the tapping noise I hear is her tail patting the ground.

Chuckling, Veremund steps outside my bedroom and calls for one of the palace cleaners to come assist, and orders more food. I sit on the edge of Astralux’s bed, waiting, and start to tremble with weakness again.

“I should have waited to test it, I’m sorry,” Astralux says.

I smile a little. “You have a way to set things on fire—I’m sure you’re excited.” Astralux gives an embarrassed grin as the others in the room chuckle.

Mortimer requests a new bowl from one of the palace servants. A new bowl of soup is brought, this time with a cut of hot cornbread lathered with butter. I dip the bread into my soup once and take a bite. It’s different than what Mom used to bake, this one a sweeter version, but I like it.

Astralux growls happily. “Your peace is welcome,” she says to me.

Neil chuckles. “You two will be good for each other: Astralux can make Estelle fight, while Estelle can calm Astralux down.”

Fight. The memory of stabbing Vladykar Amon through the chest comes to my mind, and I freeze, staring into my bowl. Sorrow and horror creep up inside me.

Astralux whines. “Estelle?” She nudges my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I killed….” Tears start to run down my face.

Warm comfort floods through me, and Astralux puts a wing around me. “I know. You protected yourself, and all of us. But it was a great ask of you, when all you want to do is bring healing to others. Thank you.”

Taking a breath, I press my head into Astralux for a moment and then make myself eat.

“You have proven that you won’t abide by evil,” Veremund says, his tone solemn. “I know it isn’t a fond memory for you, but please know that we’re grateful that you are willing to stand up for Ariadna.”

I make myself nod and take another bite of soup. Then I look back up at the Wards. “How will we get Ariadna’s Star back?”

Veremund watches my face for a bit. Then he looks down. “I’m not sure. I hadn’t realized that it was lost until we brought you back here. I presume Vladykar Lochan took it?”

Mortimer flinched. “I thought to chase him, but I was more worried about you two. By now….”

“By now it’s probably with Noxmalum and Vladykar Malyncor,” Kalteratem grumbles.

“At the Malum Palace,” I whisper.

“Is that where the Vladykars reside?” Neil asks.

I nod. “A—…Vladykar Amon told me.” I hate saying his name. I hate it even more with his new title. Astralux growls, and I feel her anger start to rise in me. I reciprocate with calm, and she chuckles.

“Now, now,” Astralux says, “you can’t just keep me from feeling angry.”

Glad for the bit of humor, I smile faintly and lean against her as I finish my soup.

“To answer your question: I’m not sure,” Veremund says. “Everything we come up with includes too many risks to undertake.”

Neil crosses his arms. “War?”

I shudder at the idea.

“That may very well be,” Kalteratem says. “Do you have any other ideas?”

“Giftigbun thinks war might be our best option,” Neil says. Sharing in his meson abilities with his bonded dragon, no doubt.

Mortimer hesitates. “But war with the Vladykars…we already know that they outnumber us, and now we should assume that they’re aware of all of their members.”

“I know.” Veremund stares off, rubbing his right shoulder. “But if that’s what it takes—”

I clearly hear the chime-like voice singing “Light of Ariadna!” in my head, and my magic flicks to my palms. Jerking, I slosh a little soup and bump into Astralux, who has stiffened beside me.

“Estelle?” Veremund says. “Astralux?”

“Ariadna’s Star!” I stare off from where I heard the call, rubbing one hand over my heart.

Astralux whimpered. “It calls to us.” Then she growls. “The Vladykars must be doing something to it.”

All the Wards stare in the same direction Astralux and I are looking—southwest, I realize. Hearing the voice no longer, I sigh, staring at my bowl of soup. “I pray that the Star is protected from whatever harm the Vladykars wish upon it.”

“Ariadna, bring your Star back,” Veremund murmurs.

Kalteratem nods his head. “Ariadna, bring your Star to us all.”