I was talking with a wonderful young lady about her job the other day. As she described it to me, I could hear the frustration in her voice. The tasks of the job were fine, nothing beyond her ability, but her relationship with her coworkers was surface-level, and the job provided her no satisfaction beyond that of a paycheck. She was struggling to give the right word about her job, which she had the skills for but not the passion.
“It’s not heart-fulfilling?” I suggested.
I knew exactly what she was trying to say, because it’s been a struggle of mine, too. There’s nothing so terribly frustrating and exhausting as working in a job that you have the talent, skills, experience, and schooling for, but not the passion. You have a sense that you are incredibly selfish for not being happy with what you have. Worse yet is if you get along with your coworkers but you’re not close with them. It creates this sense of fake atmosphere, where people have painted on smiles (or frowns, depending on their preferred appearance), and while they never outright anger you, they never connect with you.
Life can quickly become a gray landscape, to the point where you want nothing more than to scream, fling open the door, and walk away from it all. And the worst part is that you feel guilty for feeling this way. So you never address the problem, hoping that you’re heart will stop its whining and you can just move on living this good life that you’ve been so obviously blessed with. Right?
I certainly have felt this way, and tried to do that. And failed.
Maybe some of you are better at it than me, but I have tried to make my heart be fulfilled. I have tried to be happy with where I’m at career-wise. And my heart absolutely refuses to be satisfied with what something less than its desires. I’ve often prayed that God would help my heart to be satisfied. To stop complaining. To just be fulfilled with what it has.
And yet, is it not God that created us? Isn’t He the one that has gifted us with not just our talents but our passions, our desires, our dreams? And God is good and perfect, and loves us more than we love ourselves. Therefore, if our hearts are yearning for something different, perhaps it’s the seed God has planted in us to help us move when the time is right into something that aligns closer to the very thing that God intended for us to do. It’s the push, the drive, to keep pressing forward in search of our calling.
Please note that there is a difference between finding the satisfaction of a job and career that aligns with our vocation, as Dan Miller of “48 Days To The Work You Love” calls it, and being responsible, content, and grateful in our day-to-day lives. Even when we are unfulfilled, we can (and should) still work hard and be thankful for what we have while we hope for the time when we step nearer to the calling that God has placed on our hearts.
So don’t be ashamed that your heart is unfulfilled. And don’t give up in your search for your heart-fulfilling role. Keeping pressing forward. Keep searching. And remember that God wouldn’t give you a calling to frustrate you, but to draw you into your very purpose that He created you for.